Just Right, Again

I haven't updated this blog in over 8 months because even to me, it's a bit unbelievable. But I also didn't want to just abandon it. Most of you know this, so it's partly for me. The quick story is:

August - I was hit by a semi, and our sweet dog Brownie crossed the rainbow bridge (not at the same time).

September: Tried a splint. Also chiropractor and therapist. 

October - awesome California trip (lots more pix on Facebook) 

November was busy. Colonoscopy (all good), ultrasound (good), bone density (awesome), had my ovaries out on the recommendation of my oncologist (all fine, just more healthy body parts removed), MRI on my hand (UCL tear). More hiking.

Thanksgiving Hike

December - cast on my hand. Dad had 2 surgeries, one crisis. It was a long month. On the upside: Cookie!

January - cast off, started PT. Cookie & Rocky share the spoon.

February - more PT (really, pinching exercises!)

March - another awesome California trip and more PT

Which brings us to April. The plastic surgeon took a look and thought the right breast looked so bad the implant might have been damaged in the accident. Yes, that bad (I'll spare you the photos). 

So last week I went back in for repairs. After surgery, the doctor said all the fat he had carefully inserted last April and July was gone on that side. And "the pocket was blown" meaning the muscle pocket that holds the implant was torn open. He had done work on the pocket last July. . .and I felt it rip open the day after the accident. (What happens when the pocket is blown, you ask? traveling boob!)

This time he gave me a new implant (same size as the last one), used Alloderm to give support to what's left of the muscle along the right side and top and yes, more fat grafting.

Back to resting, icing, walking slowly, knitting. I worked on a shawl called Daybreak. I started with a variegated yarn, but didn't like how the colors were turning out. 

     

Then I started over with another pair of colors. I got to the first stripe but still not right.

     

I frogged again. Third pass: keep the yellow, add a self-striping yarn. Knit about 8 stripes each color. Still not crazy about it and my tension isn't even, so there's big rows and small rows. Frogged back to about 4 stripes in.

     

Fourth try: Wound the self-striping yarn into 2 balls and worked 1 row from each with different needles on knit/purl rows to get the tension better. But. . .not enough yarn to finish. 

Finally, added a third yarn for the last section.

     

After 5 attempts, it looks pretty good. Looking at you, right breast.

Just Right

Actually, these are awesome. I saw the doctor Wednesday and everything is healing nicely and evenly. 

These 2 made sure I rested.

I finished this while resting:

That was a fun project! First time adding beads while knitting.

I have a little pain on my left thigh from the fat grafting/harvesting. Nowhere else. It's more comfortable when I'm moving than sitting, so the best medicine is moving around! I have a lot less bruising than last time.

I also have a small clot on my wrist from the IV but baby aspirin and hot compresses over the last few days has helped a lot.

I am cleared to ramp back up to full speed, go hiking, sleep in any position. 

So today I hit the trail with Meg.

And we took it slow, all the way 

Up to the overlook. Because I missed this view:

For those keeping track: now at 300 each side, and he put 60 ccs of high quality fat in also. Let's just say I definitely fill the bras better than I did last January before all this started! And as long as everything continues to heal, I think I'm DONE!

So now I have the shirt!

Operation: Goldilocks

We had a great trip to Israel!

We stayed in fabulous apartments in great locations - thank you Trip Advisor! In Jerusalem we were at the Windows over Jerusalem (if you have been there, you know the building). We had a view of the Old City and an easy walk to Machane Yehuda and Ben Yehuda Street, and the light rail stopped across the street.

Windows over Jerusalem

We saw the sights. . .toured Masada. . .floated in the Dead Sea. . .walked a lot. . .ate wonderful food.

In Tel Aviv we were in another great apartment, just a block or so from the beach.

Which we toured. . .on Segway!

We saw more sights . . .shopped. . .walked a lot. . .ate great food.

We have been to 4 of 4 locations of the Eden Gallery (New York, Jerusalem, and 2 in Tel Aviv). We loved this piece:

It's true that Lauren describes the trip as "like the scene in Independence Day"

The one where Air Force One is taking off just as Washington is exploding. We were luckily a step ahead. . . we left Yad Vashem minutes before a forest fire broke out nearby, we left Jerusalem just before the missing boys were found, we left Tel Aviv on July 3, when when only a few rockets had been fired into the south. Oh and we landed in New York just before Hurricane Arthur (so we had an uneventful landing, but got soaked that night!).

We have hundreds more photos. And awesome memories.

For me, it was a much-needed vacation from this year. From the flood recovery, the surgeries and their recoveries, the unknowns, everything. The trip had different sights, sounds, flavors, weather. Different mirrors. Different rhythms. I am so grateful for my mom and for Lauren, for taking this trip with me. And for all of us being well and strong and able to travel. I am so glad we did it when we had the chance.

************

First she had saline-filled expanders. But they were too big.
Then she had silicone implants. But they were too small.*

* also: not a matched set, and other surprises unplanned results.

Wednesday I have yet another date with the plastic surgeon. Like Goldilocks I'm looking for "just right." It's the fun surgery, again! We have had several conversations, he and I, about what needs adjusting. There will be more fat-rearranging as well. This is outpatient, so I will be home by Wednesday night. I'll be taking it easy (means: wrapped in compression-wear, covered in ice packs and hopefully more knitting than working) for a week or two.

And then I'm ready for happily ever after!

Time Flies

9 months ago, the basement flooded (the Boulder 1000 year rain).

6 months ago, I had my annual mammogram.

5 months ago, I had a diagnosis.

4 months ago, I was recovering from a double mastectomy followed by an infection and another surgery (actually 4 months ago I was mostly sleeping off the nearly back-to-back surgeries).

3 months ago, I made a lot of hamentashen.

2 months ago, there was the fun surgery, the one where they took out the expanders, put in silicone, and did some fat grafting. Other than heartburn from the compression-wear and overdoing it on Passover, it really wasn't so bad. I did more PT with my little helper. 

1 month ago, Lauren graduated from the University of Puget Sound. It was very wet! But also wonderful.

Last weekend was the Boulder Jewish Festival and it was also very wet! But it too was wonderful. 

Next weekend I am going to Israel with my mom.  Lauren is there now on a Birthright trip. We are meeting her at the end of her trip and traveling for 10 days or so. It's a little impromptu but also feels like something I need to do, as part of this crazy year I'm having. 

Oh and then when I get back, more surgery. They don't match yet, but they will. Also, I need more fat (words I never thought I would say, honestly). Luckily I still have some for the doctor to rearrange. 

In other news, in case you are wondering. . . 

Yes I ordered the Israeli nipple prosthetics that everyone saw on Facebook from Tablet magazine. They are very realistic. I haven't figured out when to wear them (David says: maybe the beach). The rest of the time? Hmmm, having trouble with the use case. Put them on and put on a bra? Um, no. Put them on and not wear a bra? Um, no. See the dilemma? 

Yes I saw the New York Times article and video about Vinnie in Baltimore, who is also the guy in New Orleans (apparently he works both places?). Thinking about that for later in the year. Trompe l'oeil sounds like a good solution. 

Yes I saw the article about moles. Since I've been having moles removed for about 15 years, that's kinda interesting. 

Yes the jury is still out about other preventive surgery related to the genetic test. 

No, I haven't hiked Bear Peak yet. Who has time? There was snow up there until late May, and more rain. I'm thinking about doing it in July when I get back. I have hiked up Shanahan 5 times in March and once in April (between surgeries), 4 times in May and twice so far in June. 

And the basement? Over the last 9 months I thought I would actually get that project done (sure, in between surgeries and holidays and travels!). So the bins of stuff from the basement were stacked up elsewhere in the house and garage. This spring, every time it rains for more than about 10 minutes, there's another flood warning. Last Sunday after the rain, the sump pump was running. The basement rehab now seems premature, and the bins of stuff have moved back there so they can once again be "out of sight, out of mind." At least until I finish my reconstruction!

Recovering Again

Surgery on Monday (4/7) went fine. It was outpatient and I was home by mid-afternoon.
I've spent the last 2 days covered in compression-wear: compression knee socks, something girdle-like that goes from my knees to just under my new pair, and a compression bra. I am fully compressed.

There's also a variety of foam and gauze padding helping hold everything in place. There's been some rearranging of fat (moving it upstairs) so there's foam on the donor sites and gauze in the upper levels.

As with the other procedures, I think I react more to the anesthesia and whatever else they gave me in surgery, than to the surgery itself. In other words: not really any pain, very little discomfort, but I had a sore throat from the tube they used in surgery, so I've been quiet (!) for a couple of days while that heals.

I'm sure there's swelling too, and I'm not supposed to be peeking, so it's hard to tell what's been done. I see the doctor on Friday morning and that's when I think some of the padding etc will come off (and I'll be able to see his handiwork). I think I'm about the size I wanted to be (in several places, yippee!).

Guess who is keeping an eye on me?

He moved up to sit at my shoulders because my lap was filled with ice packs, definitely not his thing.

I am taking it slowly, knitting, resting, etc. Back to a limit of 2 mph on the treadmill. Walking is more comfortable than sitting and it's good for circulation. No PT moves or stretches for a few weeks while things heal.

Thank you for the good wishes, texts, etc! I've been trying to keep up!

Counting Down

I know it seems like I've been quiet lately, but I've been keeping busy.

I graduated from Physical Therapy. Means: keep doing the exercises. 

We had a Shabbat dinner here, sort of as a trial run before Passover.  The dining room got cleaned up and there was cooking! 

I have been hiking when the weather is good. I've made it up to the overlook 4 times! It is great to hike with friends and family, thank you!

I have logged a lot of altitude. It's good for perspective.

Bear Peak will have to wait a few weeks though. I can see the snow on top from our house and I don't want to risk anything before next week. . . 

Which is when I'm having the next procedure! I've been researching "styles" in preparation for the next step. Yes, it's just what you think it is. The surgeon said bring photos. Well, ok then. Guys are probably used to this. Holy cow is all I can say. I'm all about décolletage, which is a great word that I didn't really understand until recently. And now I have a Pinterest board just for that. 

Tonight the gals played maj and I maj'd on a great hand. Be sure to read my tweet, and Doug's reply (below).

Hahahahaha. Home run = a mah jongg-breast-twitter joke on April Fools day. Awesome.

Just 5 more days! Did I mention surgery is on Monday? The expanders come out and the permanent implants go in. There's a bit of other activity too but it should be quick (just a couple of hours) and it's outpatient. I will be home resting/healing/knitting next week. It's not the final step of reconstruction, but it's the last big surgical step.  The expanders are just not comfortable. I get about 4 or 5 minutes a day when I don't notice them, but that's it. I am trying not to get too excited but it's a little like waiting to get braces off. From the inside. 

Inside Out

That is how it feels - inside out, or the inverse of what we are used to feeling. There's little to no sensation on the outside of the new pair. . .but I can feel everything on the inside (like the edges of the expanders, and the saline moving around). Ew. Probably more than you wanted to know.

In other news, I got the results of the genetic testing. I tested negative for the BRCA1 and BRCA2 common mutations. This is good, it generally means I "don't have the gene."

However, the lab then tested the full length of the 2 genes, and found a "variant of uncertain significance" on BRCA2. I'll be following up with the oncologist on that. . .and I think my family members can have the genetic test as part of a study (means: no cost!) as the researchers gather more info and try to determine if there is any significance to this variant.

Back to better news: physical therapy is definitely helping. Also: quality time with Rocky.

Doesn't everyone do PT with a dog on top?

I can open jars, reach for things on higher shelves (ahem) and work lotion and soap pumps without having to move them closer/lower. I can roll and fold a zillion hamentaschen (and did!).

I'm still scheduled for the next procedure in April. The next set (the permanent implants) should be more comfortable than the expanders, and I cannot wait. If you are at all interested/curious in what they look like at this point, feel free to give me a call for a personal tour.

PS: Here's a link to my hamentaschen recipe. The ones pictured above are gluten free - I eliminated the flour and baking powder from the regular recipe, and used 2 c almond flour and 1 cup arrowroot instead (with a little extra Bob's all-purpose GF flour to help firm-up the dough).